Pardon The Parody FY Song Parodies
by TA Maxwell
Summary: Make-up-less Tomo in black leather, Miboshi obsessed with Paula Abdul, more torture for the Suzaku seishi's ears. NEXT on Pardon the Parody!
1. Miaka That Don't Impress Me Much

"That Don't Impress Me Much"  
  
"Miaka!"  
  
The priestess of Suzaku turned when Hotohori called her. Hotohori, Nuriko, Nakago and Chiriko all stood behind her.  
  
"Miaka, can we talk with you?" Nuriko asked.  
  
"Sure guys. About what?"  
  
They were silent for a moment before Chiriko finally spoke up.  
  
"Miaka, we all like you, but you like Tamahome. What's wrong with us?"  
  
Miaka thought for a moment before pulling a radio and a Shania Twain CD out of a conveniently placed plothole.  
  
"Let me put it this way." she popped in the CD and pointed at Chiriko.  
  
1 I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
  
But you've got me right down to an art  
  
You think you're a genius you drive me up the wall  
  
You're a regular-original, a know-it-all  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're somethin else  
  
Okay, so you're a child genius.  
  
2 That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the brain but haven't got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're all right  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
Miaka moved on to Hotohori  
  
3 I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
  
And a comb up his sleeve, just in case  
  
"Nothing wrong with that." Hotohori muttered.  
  
"DON'T INTTERUPT MY SONG!"  
  
4 And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughta lock it  
  
'Cause Suzaku forbid it should fall out of place  
  
  
  
Hotohori shivered. "I hope not."  
  
  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're somethin else  
  
Okay, so you're a gorgeous emperor.  
  
5 That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the looks but haven't got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're all right  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
  
  
Now she moved on to Nakago. She opened her mouth, paused and said "Okay, I'm not even gonna do one for you." and moved right on to Nuriko.  
  
You're one of those guys who likes to dress like a girl  
  
You're dream of an active night life makes me wanna hurl  
  
I can't believe you kiss Hotohori goodnight  
  
C'mon Nuriko tell me, you must be joking right  
  
Hotohori glanced at Nuriko then scooted away.  
  
"It was when you were asleep!" Nuriko pouted.  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh you think you're somethin else  
  
Okay, so you're bisexual.  
  
That don't impress me.AT ALL! Sorry Nuri-chan.  
  
"Now I'm all hurt Miaka."  
  
Tasuki walked up.  
  
"What about me Miaka?" he asked, tessen in hand. Miaka gave a weak smile and said quietly, "Song's over! Bai!" and ran off.  
  
  
  
TA: Gomen minna, but I thought this song would be perfect for a songfic. I swear I won't do any more if no one likes it. By the by, I don't own anything in this fic. Please review! 


	2. Nakago Men In Black

"Why Nakago? Why do you work with those that destroyed your village?" Chichiri asked, trying to get up from the ground. The summoning was almost ready to begin, and Nakago was set to stop them from interrupting.  
  
"Why? Fine. I'll tell you why…" Suddenly, the lights went out with a cold gust of wind.  
  
"What's going on?!" Miaka shouted, clinging to Tamahome.  
  
"I don't know!" Tamahome replied. Suddenly, the wind stopped, and the lights came back on to illuminate a number of figures. All were in black suits, and Nakago was in the middle.  
  
"Ewww!! Nakago just changed, in the dark, in front of us!!" Tamahome cringed.  
  
"I'm traumatized for life no da…"  
  
An unknown music started playing from somewhere, and the numerous Kutou spies beside Nakago started singing…  
  
Uh...  
  
Here come the Seiryuu Seishi  
  
It's the Kutou Seishi uhh, here come the Kutou Seishi  
  
Here come the Seiryuu seishi  
  
They won't let you get past  
  
Nah nah nah  
  
Then Nakago began….which for those who have ever heard Blue Eyes Blue, is worse than hearing the Miaka/Tamahome exchange.  
  
The bad guys dress in black remember that  
  
Just in case we ever face to face and make contact  
  
The title held by me – Seiryuu Seishi.  
  
Means what you think you did, you didn't hurt me  
  
So don't blink beware when I'm there  
  
Or you'll be gone, blonde hair with the blue contacts on  
  
Walk in shadow, move in silence  
  
Guard against Suzaku violence  
  
But yo I ain't on no government list  
  
I straight don't exist, no life and no murder record  
  
Saw somethin strange, watch your back  
  
Cause you never quite know where Nakago is at  
  
Uh and...  
  
As if the dancing wasn't already traumatizing enough with Nakago singing, the spies had to start in again.  
  
Here come the Seiryuu Seishi (Seiryuu seishiiiiii)  
  
Kutou defenders (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)  
  
Here come the Seiryuu Seishi (Seiryuu Seishiiiii)  
  
He won't let you get past  
  
Uh uh, uh uh, now  
  
from the deepest of the darkest of night  
  
on the horizon, blue light enters sight tight  
  
Suzaku zoom to their impending doom  
  
But then like BOOM my guys fill the room  
  
With the quickness talk and no witnesses  
  
Kodoku and flying ki  
  
Vivid memories turn to fantasies  
  
Ain't no problem, not gonna say please  
  
do what we say that's the way we kick it  
  
Yaknahmean? I see Mibo and the twins get wicked on ya  
  
We're your first, last and only line of defense  
  
against the worst scum of the universe  
  
So don't fear us  
  
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're the fearless  
  
Seiryuu Seishi.'s, got the Shinzaho  
  
(What's that mean?) We beatcho Miko  
  
Here come the Seiryuu Seishi (Seiryuu seishiiiiii)  
  
Kutou defenders (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)  
  
Here come the Seiryuu Seishi (Seiryuu Seishiiiii)  
  
He won't let you get past  
  
Nakago paused, then looked at his wrist.  
  
"Oh, dear. Look at the time! The summoning's ready to begin! I must finish there! But next time, you'll hear the rest…" Nakago vanished through the doorway behind him, leaving Chichiri, Miaka, and Tamahome, scarred for life.  
  
~~~~  
  
Ne! Another songfic?! What's up with me and these things recently? Well…I don't own any of the characters, not even the chorus line of spies =P And I don't own the song either. 


	3. Twins Because They Were High

It was the average day in Kutou – Averagely boring. Amiboshi and Suboshi were practically falling asleep against each other.

"So…bored…must……do something…"

Amiboshi's complaint went unanswered for a moment.

"Wanna have a ryuuseisui duel?"

"Nah…you always win."

More silence.

"Teach me to play the saxophone?"

"No way in Suzaku's region."

Again, silence.

"Wanna put Kodoku and Forgetfulness leaves in everyone's tea?"

"There you go…"

The next morning, at the breakfast table, everyone seemed out of except for the Twins and Tomo. Miboshi was no where in sight.

"I'm guessing you all didn't sleep well last night…" Amiboshi spoke sympathetically, although it was just a ruse.

"Because they were high off our drugs…" Suboshi whispered to him. Amiboshi had to bite his tongue to avoid laughing.

"I feel like I didn't get any sleep…Just can't remember what happened…" Nakago groaned.

"Well, why don't you tell us?" Suboshi put on his best innocent face.

"Well, I was gonna raise my ki…"

"But he was high!" Amiboshi hid behind his grin.

"Was gonna go to Soi's room…"

"But he was high!" Suboshi joined in.

"Now Tomo seems very happy…"

"And we know why!" They sang together.

"Why man?" 

"Because he was high! Because he was high! Because he was hi-igh!" 

As the twins sang together, there was a scream that got increasingly louder…and louder…until the single missing seishi crashed through the ceiling and right into the middle of the table.

"Miboshi?!" Soi poked the large headed small bodied monk with her spoon.

"What happened?!" Tomo exclaimed, actually sounding kind of worried. The twins exchanged grins. 

"I wasn't gonna possess a Nyan-Nyan," Miboshi groaned.

"But he was high." Suboshi smirked.

"I wasn't gonna call her 'Sunukake Baba'…"

"But he was high!" Amiboshi cracked up.

"Now I just got back from a trip around the atmosphere…"

"And we know why!" The twins burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Why man?"

"Because he was high! Because he was high! Because he was hi-igh!"

Now the twins knew about Miboshi, Tomo, and Nakago's night, but Soi and Ashitare…  
"Rarrgh woof arooo!"

"But he was high!" Amiboshi fell out of his chair with laughter as his brother pretended to 

understand Ashitare.

"Woof bark aroo grr!"

"But he was high!"

"Whimper woof grr arooo grr!"

"And we know why!"

"Why man?!"

"Because he was high, because he was high, because he was hi-igh!"

Nakago paused, thinking as the rest of the seishi laughed along with the twins.

"Amiboshi…Suboshi?"

"Hai, Nakago-sama?"

"How exactly did you know all of us were 'high'?"

Nakago's ki began to glow as the twins exchanged worried looks.

"Whoa! Look at the time! Got to run!" both shouted together, taking off, a blue ki blast flying after 

them. 


	4. Nakago Somebody Hates Me

I do not own Nakago or any characters here. Nor do I own the song, sung by Reel Big Fish and it's the most awesome song in the world and you must listen to it because it ROCKS! Ja ne! 

Nakago shook his head, looking between his opponents and the burning buildings. This was pointless. It was him against all the Suzaku seishi, and Seiryuu had just been sealed away. There wasn't any chance he would survive a punch from Tamahome now. His life began flashing before his eyes. His childhood, becoming an official seishi, finding Lady Yui (Seiryuu only knew what had happened to her,) the summoning…Nakago blinked. Argh! Nakago was such an idiot! How could Nakago have forgotten…why was Nakago thinking in third person? Nakago did not know. *ahem* A smirk curled around his lips.

"You haven't won yet Suzaku seishi…I still have one more trick up my sleeve."

The Suzaku seishi looked between themselves. Nakago was helpless. What tricks could he have?

"Uh oh no da…." Chichiri went pint-sized and ran off screaming. Tamahome and Miaka somehow understood and followed.

"What the fuck?"

The air around Nakago shimmered and around him materialized some odd figures. At first no one could tell what they exactly were. But then everything became clear. Tomo sat behind a set of drums. Suboshi had a guitar in his arms, bass guitar. Soi was seated in front of a keyboard and Nakago held a microphone in his hands.

"Hit it."

The remaining Suzaku seishi and every poor person within earshot screamed.

Hey hey hey hey!

Hey hey hey hey!

Yeah!

They were traumatized already.

"MY EARS NO DAAAA!!" came from the distance, the defeat cry of a tortured monk.

I just made an enemy of someone

I don't know and they

Are upset about somethin 

That I must have done

"Probably his singing skills!" Nuriko squealed, covering his ears.

"So this is what Amiboshi was like at the summoning!" Chiriko shrieked.

It really doesn't make much sense

That I've got no

Statement in my defense

"YOU DON'T DESERVE ONE!" Tasuki shouted.

BUT! I know! No matter what No matter who

No matter what I do

Somebody hates me!

Soi, Tomo, and Suboshi added in.

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me, somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me

Somebody hates me and I hate somebody too!

Did you misunderstand that I did?

'What's to misunderstand? He was a world-conquering maniac…" Hotohori twitched.

Or was there one of my jokes that you didn't get?

"He told jokes?" Chiriko blinked.

Miboshi popped up sniggering.

"Have you heard the one about the duck that walked into a bar and ordered some grapes?"

The poor boy didn't know whether to trust the floating three eyed ghost or not, but finally decided it would be safer to hear the joke than Nakago's voice and ran off with Miboshi in tow.

Or do you think 

You've got the way I think all figured out?

What'd I say 

To make you feel I'm not cool now?

"You were trying to be fuckin cool?!" Tasuki soon regretted his words via the keyboardist.

Well! I know no matter what no matter who

No matter what I do

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me, somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me

Somebody hates me and I hate somebody too

I know it's wro-o-o-o-o-ong

I do it too

So I guess I should saaaaaaaaaay

Don't let it get to you!

Whoo!

Nuriko twitched during the musical interlude.

"He kills the majority of us through his seishi, nearly destroys Miaka's hometown, SINGS to us, and is now telling us to not let this bug us?"

"MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP NO DAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" echoed the far-off monk's voice.

I KNOW! No matter what no matter who

No matter what I do

Somebody hates me

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me, somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me, somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me! Somebody hates me!

Somebody hates me! Somebody hates me!

"This…is getting…annoyingly…repetitive…." Nuriko was now the last one standing. Hotohori had collapsed into a sobbing mess during the last verse

Somebody hates me! Somebody hates me!

And I hate somebody too

I hate somebody too

I hate somebody too

I hate somebody too

I hate somebody too

……Somebody like yooooooouuuuuuu….

Nuriko was now simultaneously sobbing with Hotohori. Nakago smirked and dismissed his band. But then an idea began to form in his mind. He was no longer a Seishi since Seiryuu was sealed, but perhaps a good boy band could rule the world…His evil laugh mingled into the air with a cries of relief from a distant chibi monk.


	5. Nakago I Can Be Your Bad Guy

"Let's get this show on the road!" Nuriko crowed as Keisuke pulled the bus out of the designated meeting place for the Suzaku seishi. Watase-sama had given them a week-long break from recording for a trip to a hot springs resort, and gods bless it they were going to enjoy it, even IF they were stuck with the Seiryuu seishi. It didn't take long for things to get slightly monotonous. 

"Are we there yet?" Tasuki groaned, lying down in his seat, feet propped against the window.

"We're not even out of the parking lot yet no da!" Chichiri reprimanded. That was the third time he'd asked. Everyone had the feeling he was doing that on purpose.

"Keisuke-san, I don't feel good!" Chiriko pouted from his seat in the back.

"HEY! Karaoke machine!" Nuriko jumped for the machine in the back of the bus near Chiriko. Panic time.

"NOOO!!!"

"Hey, I sing good!" Nuriko grouched.

"Why don't we turn on the radio…." Keisuke's voice piped up from the front. 

"Good idea!" Hotohori and Mitsukake agreed. Keisuke sighed in relief and reached for the volume control.

"That was Pride of Ice, a song by the lovely artist known as Kaen. And now, we have a new hit song from the most popular singer on 004.2 KUTOU, the man who calls himself "Blue Damnation." 

"Da??" Chichiri blinked. Reality sunk in as the first few notes echoed. "KEISUKE! TURN IT OFF!! NOW!!!" he shrieked.

"Why? This song kicks!" Keisuke grinned and turned it up. No one could tell he had his own pair of headphones on and was humming to Nocturne.

(_Let me be your bad guy)_

The screams were already heard by the Seiryuu seishi five miles away, where Nakago was karaokeing to that very song.   
  
_Would you scream if I asked you to scream_

"He'd ask?!" Tamahome shrieked._  
Would you run and never look back _

"We already do…" Mitsukake replied to this line._  
_

Would you die if I killed you 

"Probably not…" Hotohori rolled his royal eyes.

__

  
Would you give me your soul tonight  
Would you tremble if I charged my ki blast 

"He sure wrote this from experience…" Nuriko grumbled._  
_

Would you faint oh please tell me this 

"No, we'd throw a fuckin sword at him!" Tasuki yelled.

__

  
Now would you die by the one you hate   
Run from me and hide tonight  
  
I can be your bad guy baby   
I can give you lots of pain  
I will attack you forever   
I will take your life away  
  
Would you swear if you saw me comin

"We fucking swear when we hear him singing!" 

"You always swear anyways no da…"

"What's yer fuckin point?" Tasuki glared as the monk slid comfortably down in his seat with his earmuffs, grinning as his barrier kept all his fellow seishi away from him and his protection._  
Would you scream would you run and hide   
You will taste my whip. Shall I steal your mind? _

You need some Kodoku tonight  


"I'll kill that bastard as soon as we get to the Hot Springs!!" Tamahome bellowed.

"Chichiri or Nakago?" Nuriko replied, looking back from pounding Chichiri's barrier.

"Maybe both…"

I can be your bad guy baby   
I can give you lots of pain  
I will attack you forever

I will take your life away  
  
Ohhh I just wanna kill you,   
I just wanna kill you, oh yeah  
You will taste my whip. Shall I steal your mind?   
I'll destroy you here tonight  


"He's killing our ears!" Chiriko cried.

"Hana no saku sekai ini Inochi miru you ni! Tori ga tobu shunkan jiyuu wo kanjiru!" Chichiri sang to himself behind his earmuffs, adding more torture to those who still heard Nakago's song.

__

  
I can be your bad guy baby   
I can give you lots of pain  
Oh yeah  
I will attack you forever  
I will take your life away  
  
I can be your bad guy  
I can give you lots of pain  
And I will attack you forever  
I will take your life away  
I will take your life away  
I can be your bad guy

"CHICHIRI YOU AND NAKAGO ARE DEAD!!" Tamahome shrieked. But thins were to only get worse. Hotohori plunged his sword into the radio the moment AFTER the song ended and Nuriko made a mad dash for the Karaoke machine. And thus the bus trip to the hot springs was begun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TA still owns nothing of this =( No Chichiri or Nuriko for me. Or no song.


	6. Tomo Cold Hearted Shogun

"SOI!"

The female seishi paused and groaned. 

"What the hell d'ya want, Homo?" she shot, turning to face the approaching painted one. Tomo smirked.

"Nice to see you're actually paying attention to me for once. You must not be heading off for Nakago, if you're willing to stop and chat a bit."

"You're interrupting my business."

"This won't be long."

Soi crossed her arms.

"Better not be. You've got one minute."

Tomo took a breath. Only one chance here.

"Soi, you shouldn't let yourself be in love with Lord Nakago."

"Just so YOU can have him? I don't think so."

"No, listen to me! He doesn't love you back! Can't you see it, in his eyes?"

"In his eyes?"

Tomo grinned. The lights dimmed around Soi and him. A moment later there was a spotlight, right on Tomo. He was face-paintless, and wearing tight black leather clothes. (That one's for you, Kari!) Music began playing from no where.

~In Konan~

"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIIT!" Tasuki shouted. Chichiri sank comfortably into his seat, CD player rolling and headphones on.

"TA! I want headphones too!!" Nuriko pleaded to the sky. "Does being your muse mean NOTHING?!" The authoress from above just grinned and kept writing the fic.

~Back in Kutou~

Miboshi, Ashitare, and the twins had poked their heads out of their rooms when the music started. Suboshi readied his ryuuseisui in case he'd need them on the singer, and Amiboshi had his flute ready for himself. Tomo looked up at Soi and the singing began, complete with expert dancing.

He's a cold-hearted shogun  
Look into his eyes  
Oh oh oh  
He's been tellin' lies  
He's a lover boy at play  
He don't play by rules  
Oh oh oh  
Girl don't play the fool—no

"Oh. My. God. Tomo. Is. Singing. Paula. Abdul." Miboshi's mouth dropped open. Suboshi gave him a look.

"How do YOU know Paula Abdul?"

Miboshi sweatdropped. 

"Well…she…has a very good body-VOICE!"

"BUSTED!!" the twins laughed. "Miboshi likes Paula Abdul!"

"SHUT UP!"

  
You're the one givin' up the love  
Anytime he needs ki  
But you turn your back and then he's off  
and fightin the Suzaku  
You're the one to sacrifice  
Anything to please him  
Do you really think he thinks about you  
when he's out

Ashitare's hands/paws went up to cover his ears. It wasn't that Tomo couldn't sing. He was quite good. It 

was just the words didn't quite fit the tune.  
  
He's a cold-hearted shogun  
Look into his eyes  
Oh oh oh  
He's been tellin' lies  
He's a lover boy at play  
He don't play by rules  
Oh oh oh  
Girl don't play the fool--no  
  
It was only late last night  
He was out there fightin'  
Then he came back to check

That you were there for his return  
All the world's a giant war  
He's the king of fighters  
When it comes to true love girl with him  
there's no one home

"He's RUINING Paula Abdul!" Miboshi sobbed before muttering the correct words to himself. 

"He's got the lyrics memorized…" Amiboshi sweatdropped.

  
He's a cold-hearted shogun  
Look into his eyes  
Oh oh oh  
He's been tellin' lies  
He's a lover boy at play  
He don't play by rules  
Oh oh oh  
Girl don't play the fool--no  
  
You could find somebody better girl  
He could only make you cry  
You deserve somebody better girl  
He's c-cold as ice  
  
He's a cold-hearted shogun  
Look into his eyes  
Oh oh oh  
He's been tellin' lies  
He's a lover boy at play  
He don't play by rules  
Oh oh oh  
Girl don't play the fool--no 

The music came to an end and Tomo stopped dancing. Light applause came from the audience, mainly for the dancing. He grinned at Soi.

"Well?"

Soi paused.

"Well…I actually honor and respect the fact you have enough guts to stand in front of me wearing THAT and singing that, but no matter what you say Nakago is –mine–!"

A sizzle of lightning latter, Tomo was lying on the ground, fried, as Soi made her way towards Nakago's quarters. Tomo sighed.

"Well….that punishment wasn't that bad…"

"Ruin Paula Abdul's song will you?" a voice hissed behind him. Tomo sweatdropped as he saw Miboshi's prayer wheel spinning like mad.

"Oh dear…"

~~~~~~~~~~~

TA: Eheh ^^;; not the best parody song I've done. I've just had the idea for this for a while and thought I'd try it. But at least it gives the mental image of makeupless Tomo in black leather, for Tomo fangirls. That's a good thing, ne? ^^;; review please. Oh, and I own nuthin. No the song, not the folks listening to it. 


End file.
